People end up living with their in-laws for a different reasons. Whether its financial issues or someone is sick and requires special care or your culture requires that you live together.
In my case it was a cultural and financial reasons. I struggled the most the first year as I never knew what to expect.
After 7 years and two children, we are living on our own. I learned a lot but most of all I appreciated them for everything they did to help us. I can say the best benefit of it all is they loved my children and my house as if it was their own!
These are my 5 advices on what helped me living with my in-laws:
1. Set Expectations
It’s can sound very strange but it’s important to set ground rules. We all have different living styles you may not notice prior to living together. The important thing is to create those guidelines. This will help you get along and feel comfortable regardless of who is living with you. For example, we’ll take turns taking on buying food for the house to avoid having one person feel like all the responsibilities land on their plate.
2. Open Communication
Open communication is so important to have with your in laws. For example my husband and I have daily route for our children. We typically come home to eat dinner, but there are days we don’t have time to come home for dinner; this is something I would want to make sure my in law knew not to prepare extra dinner.
3. Personal Space
Along with setting some ground rules, it’s also important to understand and respect personal space. Establish those designated areas that are either off limits to you or to your in-laws. For example, if your in-laws are staying in the guest bedroom on a different floor, I would confirm that them that’s floor will be their personal space. That way you you don’t have to see each other all the time, but still depend on one another or fulfilling obligations.
4. Stay out of Family Conflicts
Not knowing family history or the life your spouse grew up, there can be some hidden feelings you will never be able to understand. So it’s so important to mind your own business!
5. Pick Your Battles
Sometimes, the people will say or do things that will bother or annoy you. But speak up when you need to. For example when people come over unannounced to visit your mother-in-law. Depends on who those individuals are coming over unannounced, could be challenging to ask for a heads up. You can always ask but just remember you won’t always get what you ask for.
6. Taking some Time away from the Home
There are moments where the house can become so overwhelming. People will just annoy you and you just need silence! My drive to work can take 50 minutes to an hour, I love my drive it’s my time alone to myself. But sometimes that wasn’t enough and I just needed a break! Because we couldn’t afford vacations across the states we just rented a nice hotel near by. We took a long weekend getaway, it was worth every cent.
7. Remember why you Married your Spouse
Remember this is only temporary. It may seem forever but your in laws will be gone before you know it. Your marriage should remain the number one priority. If you have read my older blogs you already know my husband has a large family. When I married my husband, he was living with his family and the soul provider. I knew it was going to be challenging. My husband is a family man, and I loved him for it so how can I make him to just leave his own family.
What other tips do you have for living with your in laws?