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The Breadwinner Hmong Mother

Some days I feel like I’m running a marathon, I didn’t train for. My heart is beating so fast, it’s ready to beat out of my chest. I want to finish the race because I know it’s possible. I’m gasping for air, I began to choke as if I have a fish bone stuck in my throat.

I know this sounds dramatic right! As a woman, we wear multiple hats. We want to get so much done that sometimes we over do it. We need to learn how to prioritize our hats. And we wear one at a time and wear them with pride!

So when you are home with your kids, don’t work from home or answer some emails. You only have a few hours at home, why not unplug and be enjoy each other company.

I don’t believe in balancing all your hats. According to Google, the definition of balance is to keep or put (something) in a steady position so that it does not fall. To wear multiple hats at once is not ideal nor realistic. And it doesn’t allow you to show up your best.

Life can feel like a circus, I promise it. This method of prioritize your responsibilities will help you. Start writing down what’s important to you. Rank each item, 1 is the most important.

This is my priority list:

1. I am only Human

As a human being, your body has basic requirements. You need 8-9 hours sleep every day. Your body requires water and food to run on. And what most people forget it their mental and physical state. We are come with experience, some scarred and others with disability. We have limits and we need to learn what our limits are.

2. I am a Mother

As a mother, we fell most responsible for the little ones we have given birth to. But let’s remember to allow them to make their own mistakes.

3. My marriage

This is the most forgotten life priority after you have kids. Marriage is complicated and requires two individuals to come together to an agreement on decisions.

My husband and I enjoy taking marriage counseling courses to help talk take time to talk about our marriage. Some times it’s so much easier to have someone neutral in the room rather your family and friends.

4. Work

As the breadwinner, I have to provide. There are many days I forget, prioritize work first before all else because I feel the burden to provide. I need to work late. Or attend happy hour. –> The mindset I need to show up and pull my end.

But we need to step back and breath. We need to remember why we work. I love this quote:

Work to Live, Don’t Live to Work.

Those moments when your child still wants to cuddle when they are sick are only temporary. Before you know it, they will be grown. So enjoy it.

My advise to have those conversations with your leaders and fully understand expectations.

5. I am Hmong

As the Hmong inside of me. I grown to love the family and learn how much stronger we are together.

I have accepted who I am and set my own priorities.

I love being a Mother, a Wife, the Breadwinner and Hmong!

Please share what works for you?

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